Print

You can relax now. The DHS is on the job searching for subversive words that might be used by people on Facebook—words like leak, burn, plume, cloud, wave, and smart. (This is not a satire!)

by Heidi Stevenson

Never fear, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is actively watching out for our welfare. Rest assured, they will allow nothing to interfere—certainly not a little matter like privacy.

DHS constantly monitors internet social networking sites for signs of terrorist plotting, or so they say. To be sure that people aren’t planning heinous acts—such as protesting or chatting about the weather—they have workers at the National Operations Center actively searching sites like Facebook for subversive words.

DHS analysts have a handy reference on their desks called the “Analyst’s Desktop Binder”. It includes everything they need to do their jobs on a daily basis. The list includes words like assassination, militia, disaster medical assistance team, grid, agro, and ice. (The complete list is at the end of this article.)

A Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request by the Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC) obtained a redacted copy of the document designed to aid analysts in their monitoring of internet social networks and media organizations in search of commentary that might “reflect adversely” on the government. Of course, Uncle Sam says that they’re searching for potential threats, not to invade anyone’s privacy.

They also claim that they’re looking for early signs of serious crimes like mall and school shootings, threats to the public health, big drug and illegal immigrant busts—States don’t report them?—and natural disasters.

What they don’t admit is that they’re prying into every aspect of people’s private lives. What other explanation could there be for a list to trigger surveillance that includes words like cloud, vaccine, E. coli, smart, and emergency?

Imagine this Facebook chat between friends:

OMG! I just want to crash! It’s like there was a toxic cloud hanging over my head all day. 

I get the drill. There’ll never be any recovery after the response I got for reporting shots fired that turned out to be a car backfiring. You’d have thought the cops had caught me in a riot and looting!

It must have been the pork I ate last night. There must’ve been some contamination. I swear to you, I felt positively radioactive! It was like a wave of contamination went through me. And then that black out we had, so I couldn’t do my homework on exposure to pathogens like a virus, bacteria, or TB.

You poor thing – I’m surprised you didn’t collapse. Were you able to get on the metro this morning? It was so icy. The ground was covered with snow, it was virtually a blizzard out there – like storm clouds were threatening service disruptions, delays, and cancelled trains.

A conversation like that could have the DHS breathing down your neck. Every word in boldface is on their surveillance list!

Don’t you feel better knowing that your tax dollars are being spent to make sure that your every word is monitored to assure that you aren’t a terrorist?

Here’s the list: